What Am I Waiting For

OMG!!!

2012-02-06T01:27:00.001+08:00

I really say it out I really say it out!!!

Fucking proud of myself that I really said it out!!!!!!! WHAAAAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

FUcking high, dunno how to control myself!!!! WOOOAHHHHHHH

THink i was too high just now till I vomited sia!!

Happy ~ ~

2012-02-04T21:16:00.002+08:00

Just finished my basketball game, freaking sprain my leg~ ~ KAOZ!!!! old liaoz hahahaa

Was walking home just now and found a quiet place to sit down. Quietly thinking and sorting out my head for 1 hour plus. Reflecting is good for me !!

I have decided on what to do already. Going to start work on tuesday and see how things goes for this first before i go over my friends company to help him.

Should not be so sturborn liao la ~ ~ thought carefully le, I should do what I believe in and want to.

I am so much clearer today and I love this feeling. Francis is back to his normal state!! Need to start planning for work things liao ~ ~ Hahaaha, hope i can get a car before May!!

Hey, and u better come back quickly. Dun let the whole world worry for you yeah ? Everything is A ok liao ~~~ :)

My Bad

2012-02-04T15:16:00.002+08:00

Aiyoooo, seems like i created stress for you yeah ? Sorry ~ ~ ~

Was really only trying to share with you the good news I had, did not know I actually gave u pressure. Hope you dun be too sensitive ~ ~

Dunno if you really went Klang but if you did, enjoy yourself. Life is suppose to be simple, just do the things you like and enjoy the process.

There are many things I would like to say but maybe you cannot take me as a real friend to accept it first, well be more open to the things around you. So many ppl care :)

Yesterday was a good time for me and Joy, went for a drink with her and we catch up like old times, so funny.

She actually said I changed, hahahahahaaaaa... got scolded by her though but well, I guess we all go through this once a while..

She said this exact words to me
J: Brother, where is the Francis I know ?? Always know how to qiu ren but dunno how to qiu yourself. Cannot la, I looked down on your for the first time lo.

F: First time I really so serious mah, bo pian KARMA lo ~ ~ Just let her think about things and be happy cos no matter what, a r/s should be happy and not some stressful events. Who knows how things will work out again.

J: What how things will work out, SIAO AH. You were never like that de lo, last time always go chiong ONS and having Flings and letting me bump into you a few time (roll eyes). Must changed man ah, too bad other ppl dunwan you !!!! HaHaHa..

F: OIE!!! give some face can. I just need to get back to normal life first bah cos if not always cannot give people any future or security also mah.

Hahaahaa happy time spent

Xiao mao mi, if you are looking at this post, just wanna tell you. Dun avoid me ah, cos i got a gut feeling you are though i dunwan to say why.

You want to think about anything going through your mind and enjoy your life be it partying or knowing more people, JUST DO IT (NIKE). Nobody is going to stop you.

LETS PARTY!!!!! but sianz... starting work on tuesday liao ~ ~~ yawn ~~~ sore eyes!!!!

Moment to remember

2012-02-03T17:37:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was one of the best day ever, a 12 hour date.

Went for a good japanese meal, movie and even to the flyer which I should have went long time ago.

the last 4 hour was the best moment, chit chat play games and most of all being a couple. You guys cannot imagine the happiness it brought me....

when the min pass the 12 hour, insane 30 min for me... hahahahaahahhahhaha never knew a person can mean so much to another that is not related....

I never thought that a person not moving can ever drop tears like movie actor that put eye drops. ( believe me it is possible, tested and proved )

Life has to be strong now le, Francis grow up ok ?? No longer young le, cannot play already.. time to do sth for yourself rather than for others le.... :)

xiao mao mi ~ ~
xiao puppy ~ ~

Kinda become i am like the arsehole now.... hahahaahaaa not easy being a human and even harder being a man ( translate in Chinese ) very true in real life.

Fly high and soar far as my heart will go for you just as far beyond.

Listening to Someone like you, and tear drop automatically... no good la... ok la give myself some leeway, last day was being like that ok ? bu yao zhe yang zhi le...

being like this made others cry for me as well... haizz.... guilty, sorry sis ~ ~ wo mei you yong la.. Last day like that yeah :)

:)

2012-02-02T13:14:00.002+08:00

Nth much to write though, just feeling lost for a while back then.

But surprisingly somethings that my friends told me and certain scenes in a HK tv series got to understand more about life.

Coincidentally made me feel that maybe it was the first step that was taken wrongly and intention of ppl that created the fruit tat it bear..

Smile, nobody can really help me unless i start helping myself :)

I think I must be crazy

2012-02-01T15:03:00.001+08:00

Haaaaaaaahhaaa what was i thinking for the past few days ???

All i should do now is work hard for what I want, regarding whatever the ending is, good or bad. I gave my best and work towards it le!!

Be happy :)

1st day ~ ~ ~

2012-02-01T05:25:00.002+08:00

The first day of what we agreed..... 3 mths....

Went to play mj with her,karen and randy...

She asked me to go over 1 hour earlier.. quickly shower and ran all the way from my house to her place.. literally ran, nearly got into a car accident.. ahahhahah what a fool..

Greeted me by the gate, tried my best to hide my panting... hahahaha... so happy as she finally was back to her happy self when she saw me.. hug her tightly and kept wanting to hug her more..

MJ ing started, everything was good even after when she told me she is meeting nicole and cannot accompany me.. kinda shocked me that she will say that to me, was really happy inside cos as least she care or at least try to care about how i feel....

halfway through the mahjong session, her dad called and ask her what she wanted for dinner, she just told him to buy her share... haizzzz... felt really down when i heard that, could not focus and play anymore....

In my heart I was wondering why she did not want to stay for dinner as it was such a good chance to mingle with her family but instead.. I became the guy that just come for mahjong and leave once it was over....

Feel so sad, but kept putting on a strong front... dun even dare to say anything as I promise her to let her do her stuff... but cant she at least be more sensitive..... I would fly to the sky if she actually ask me to stay for dinner.....

Left after the session, intended to walk home but the next moment I realise, I was actually lost in Sengkang... hahahah what a joke...

Karen called me back for another session again so walked back feeling lost....

halfway through the session, she told me she was going to meet Paul, was slightly affected but still cool about it.. just kinda jealous that everyone else has more of her time and I dun even seem to have just 10% of it....

felt disappointed for a while, luckily Karen seem to sense sth wrong and whack my arm if not really emo on the table.. hahahahahaa

After game ended, text/call her no ans nor reply... haizzzz.... I was so paranoid to the extend I cannot believe it.. Whahahahahahahaaaaa Francis ah Francis.... Karma siaz.....

Fighting so hard for it, hope that at least she try to fight for me a lit more...I wanna be happy too... Life isnt really that complicated... Why make it seems so tough ?

JIA YOU !!!!!! haizzz...... dunno how to motivate myself le.. sleepless nite everyday, sooner or later i sure crash...

I dunno how to describle my feeling now..

2012-01-30T04:12:00.003+08:00

I am crying, crying really really hard...

For the past 45 min.... tears just keep dropping down till the point I dunno what to do...

I know deep down in my heart that everything will be over tomorrow......

Kept acting strong... but i am so weak right now...... I just keep crying and no one to talk to.......

This is the only place I can say out my feeling.......

Help me....... I cannot stop crying...........................................Pls someone..... anyone.......

Y cant I be part of the life.......

2012...

2012-01-02T12:11:00.002+08:00

Few years have passed and nth much has changed. Ups and down in life as usual... wishing life was more than just this way..

I always wanted a simple life thus having a simple partner going though a simple path in time, but sometime things just aint so simple yeah ?

Y can't things be simple? I pondered hard but could not come out with an answer...

The past 1 year was a roller coaster ride as I went into a risky business but in the end I was back to the same starting point as of 1 year ago.... Now life is just back to normal, but have to strive harder to achieve more in life...

haiz.... dunno what to say. lost of words right now ~ ~

May 2008

2008-05-25T12:23:00.003+08:00

Been a long time since i last touch this cobwebbed filled blog...

Reach home around 4+ in the morning, fell asleep only to wake up around 5.10am ... the indefinably insecure feeling overwhelmed me.... slight drizzle hit my window as i gazed out... traffic slowly filled the road and even the cats start leaving the front of my gate...

went for a jog and sort of calm down, been a long time since i ran( esp when i just drank!) haaaaha sat at the fitness corner and there i saw this cute old couple around 60+ 70+ years old? they were exercising together and the grandpa suddenly move to the back and hold the grandma by the waist and start dancing... DAMN CUTE!!!!

Just how envy them ?? unspeakable moment ~ ~ smile to them and walked off,wun wan to spoilt that 'Moment' for them ~ ~

washed up and got back to bed around 8, surprisingly i am still very awake.... for that Special 5min ~ ~hahahahha.. okok just trying to be lame for a sec yeah ~ ~

Sunday< a day for family members to get together and spend the day together > so how many out there are actually doing that ?? or rather, when was the last time YOUR whole family spend a nice afternoon together?? be it watching tv or even crapping shit infront your grandparents ??? hm.... can't really remember yeah??

well, make time for such yeah ~ ~ cos down the road, u might never ever get anymore chance just like me ~ Smile ~ :)

Been a long time since i went out on my own ~ ~ ~ INTENTION FOR THE DAY!!!! Be alone..... till further notice,hahhahaa ~ ~ WAT ? hahahahahah, at least till 8pm lo ~ ~ who knows wat prog i might have on a sunday nite right? i am a busy man ok? hahha who am i kidding ? geez ~ ~

Fine, shall just grab some drinks and chill at some corner in our lit small sg ~ ~ haiz ~ ~ Love the sun BUT hate the heat ~ ~ smile ~~

2008-05-25T12:23:00.001+08:00

What Francis Means

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.

You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.

Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Starry nite ~ ~

2008-03-26T23:33:00.002+08:00

Yawn ~ ~ gorge myself just now ~ ~shit, should not have done that sia ~ ~argh ~ ~ Burst ~ ~ the bubble of anger finally burst out of freedom and totall released into the air ~ ~ geee, it killed that particular person...

Shitty aint it?? but den again, i dun really care... long enough, aint going to let it lie down just like that ~ ~ I need a break soon and i mean REAL SOON!!! finally going to taiwan for a month soon ~ ~argh ~ ~ Good in a way.. lets just hope i get to go iraq.... SG is really getting on me le... haiz...

MIA in process soon ~ ~ ~ meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Kinda tired today... suddenly...

2008-02-26T00:45:00.003+08:00

Days of resting was good just.... dunno y suddenly feel so tired... tired cos of wat?? I wondered ~ ~ was it my life that is tiring?? or is it just me??

Ppl reading my blog would just keep asking me why i seems like such a emo person.. hahaha actually.. this is only me at certain point of time and i usually just blog when i have no where to make my voice heard .....

Went outside to take a puff on my swing, kinda wondering how the days would be like that are coming my way ~ ~ I know i like my life to be filled wif excitment,thrills... but can i still catch up wif wat i am doing?? looking at the people around me.... at times i like to ask them... Y are u still here??

hahaha weird right?? maybe i am stuck at this stage for quite a long time, i need a strong push..... a leap... a jump or sth....

Misunderstanding keeps filling the air even though no one voices out... someone just told me this again... "y do u seems so unreal?? we all know u are unhappy... y try to be the strong support when u are the one that really needs the support instead..."

I just shook my head.... and gave an ans" I dunno y"

Stare up high.... looking far and feeling the tiredness getting onto me.... Maybe i really need a strong support... :)

hahhaha.. OOKOKOK feels great after all this writing... :)

hell of a week ~ ~

2008-02-20T02:26:00.002+08:00

Ha... can never believe how my CNY started off.... FREAKING high.... to freaking low.... haiz... Life, who can expect it to be smooth... compensation... was my friend told me it was.... gee...

If that was the case... haiz.. gone it shall be... made a fool out of myself ~ ~ watever it is, life goes on huh... could not believe, I actually club on wed,fri and even on sat... Hell of a great time wif my beloved Sista and her friends.... geee ~ ~ Hug u tightly ~~ thanks thanks thanks ~ ~ :)

just wanted to get wasted on that week... but somehow or rather... i was even more sober after the amount of scary drinks we had... argh.... SCARY ~ ~ my sis is crazy... and she make sure others are as crazy as she is... HOHOHOHOHOOoo ~ ~ that was wat make ME happy ~~ hahahaha :P

Jian dan ai... I love and hate this song... can u believe it?? Del away the song just to find it playing in my play list again... strange??? ha.. i guess life is filled wif unexpected hope huh ~ ~

By the way, who is the unknown person for the comment?? hahaha.. leave a name or sth la... :)

CUrse....

2008-02-11T16:22:00.000+08:00

now... i am like a ball rolling up and down, to and fro in watever direction u wan me to.... Helpless and senseless, numb... and afraid...

Can never believe this is ever happening to me... and to think that person is u..
I admit I lost it.... from the very start, i have already lost it 9 years ago....

maybe this is just a everlasting curse that will go round and round....

nobody believe this is me too......

:)

2008-01-27T01:27:00.000+08:00

enjoying the lifestyle now ~~ totally digging it ~ ~ So wat is all these about me being SINGLE????

WOW LAO!!!! Y the whole world dun believe i am single???? GOT WRONG MEH!!!! hahahahaha.... almost any old friend i bump into will ask and NEVER BELIEVE!!!! KAOZ!!!! AND I SELDOM CLUB LE LO!!!!!! WOW LAO EH!!!!!!!

Helpless against all these labelling sia ~ ~ SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE!! OK!!!!!

hahaahhahaha,, being single is nice mah ~ ~ so relax, no prob, no nth ~ ~ and some silly pig say she wan a da sao by her birthday!!!! DA GE u wan a not..hahahaha
Going to ord soon le :)

Work work ~ ~ really lazy to study le ~ ~ haiz ~ ~ I WAN TO OPEN MY SHOP SOON!!!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............. still have to wait.. haiz ~ ~ sianz~ ~

A new year coming....

2007-12-30T06:36:00.000+08:00

Is late in the nite... or should i say... dam early in the morning.. 6.36am.... hm..
just came back from some place.. talking wif my buddy... was wondering..

wat to expect in the coming years.. guess time passes fast huh.. discussing wat to study as i was quite confused... or even to study... but i guess studying would just be a better option out in the world or reality...

What to work as?? in my field of studies ?? or some other field that i like more?? which is more realistic ??

Had a chat on opening a pub next year... but den again.. is it safe enough?? many say it is going to be just hard as there are so many pubs in Sg le... but den again.. no venture no gain.. so wat if we really fail??

Life still goes on and we will just have to try harder the next time round ~ ~

Wonder how i become so low esteem... so diff from the past... where i just do wat i feel is right... Kinda guess things aint going to be the same again ~ ~

BUt ~ ~ I believe in myself always... cos that is the first step to doing things right yeah ? ~ ~

Watever it is... I know i will make it ~ ~ cos I wan my life to be diff ~ ~ :)

and HEY ~ ~ANON!!! i am not boy boy la ~ ~hahahaha

Fell.....

2007-12-06T01:40:00.000+08:00

I am flying... flying... flying... I am falling in love... :) GOSH ~ ~ ~ I wan to tell the whole world ~ ~hahahahhaaha This evening have been the best nite for the past few month ~ ~

OH OH OH OH ~ ~ ~ I am jumping ~ ~and i cannot fall asleep ~ ~ hahahahahhaha

I am falling in love ~ ~ :)

I am blushing ~ ~:)

Blank.....

2007-11-18T04:20:00.000+08:00

Sniffing the air around me... sounded like a puppy huh ~~
still and cold...
Boooooooooo, even the scare seem monotone ~ ~

wat would happen if I agree to what NYP is offering to me... 4 years...Long??

brush it off... Money may seem good.... but i rather be wat i wan to be...
Might be hard... as long as it is worth it ~ ~

Ster birthday yesterday on 17 11 07 ~ ~ haiz... nvm

What would U write on a blank piece of paper if given to u right now....

I would draw a square wif my name in it and fold it into a paper plane and off it go flying by.....

Confused by wat is happening actually.. need an ans... but maybe it will be better like that huh ~ ~

Nth i can do if i can do nth...

wan to smile more.... but sadly... it seems thati am losing the feeling of it..

How much would u accept to give up on your pride???

I have a better exposure to this...
the meaning to the diff happening ~ ~

slowly I will just get used to the feeling of being just more of a silly friend ~ ~

:)

Flash back ~ ~

2007-11-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

Always hold on to the things that u know is important to u...

Wat is the most impt thing on earth for U ??

Family,Friends,Relationship or even your pet ~ ~ ~

Wat will the feeling be when u know that u are going to lose them sooner or later due to some unexpected events ??

The knowingly feeling of losing that grasp on them.... slowly slipping by your hand by your fingers...

aint going to be a good feeling ~ ~ T.T

Hm.... been long since i paid respect to my mum liao ~ ~
2morrow would be good dun u think ?? :)

Memories ~ ~

2007-11-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

THe good and bad thing about human is the memories... remember the first time u fell in love??

The first time u kiss??
The first time someone cooked for u??

Wat about the first time when broke up?
The first time someone made u seem so unworthly?
The times that u cried?

Looking back at times like that... ever wonder wat is memories for ?? for sweet thinking or sad dwelling??

Once time passes by, some of it become visually blurred... while other remains as if it just happened yesterday..

The clock will just continue to tick no matter wat...
To do anything in life is just about decision..
The right step ahead? or the wrong step backwards?

Coffee, tea or Me ??
hahhahaha ~ ~ ~ feeling good.. but could have even better wif u around.. guess u are really too far away le la.. :) Waiting for Dec to come.. Goodnite ~ ~

To be felt and answered~ ~

2007-11-12T23:16:00.000+08:00

Was reading sth on the diff type of r/s in the world right now... boy and gal, gal and gal , boy and boy ~ ~

So wat is the special meaning towards this?? Is it normal for a guy to like or even to love a guy?? Fell upon this conversation ~ ~

" Wat's the different of loving a woman or a man?? It is just loving someone.. does it matter that much."

I was impressed by this conversation that i heard....

Ppl out there... let this phrase run in your mind now... slowly think it in a simple concept of liking someone.... does it really apply to the sexual gender when it comes to liking or loving someone....

Sensitive topic to many out there....

Another thing... was listening to a song, lyrics was about a person breaking down after a r/s... and the song just went on telling her that ~ ~

Actually she does not really love that man as much as she felt so.... was it just a habit or was it really love?? Telling her that she does not love that guy that much, there was no need for her to feel that bad.. just time to learn to let go....

INteresting... i have this friend who is frequently having a Emo~~ing session whenever he is down... he would like to go drink and often sing those very sad or should i say sentimental love songs.... creating a even more emo atmosphere ~ ~

Remember i got affected that nite cos of some song... did sth really stupid ~ ~ well i guess i cannot say i regretted it or wat cos it aint going to help ~~ LESSON LEARNT!!!!!! :)

Feeling quite hype but also sad today..

Came back from my holiday... was really relaxed throughout... but once back home.. i lost sth.. or should i say someone... :) really special someone.. Guess not much ppl know about it ~ ~ to those who know, it might sound absurd as it aint really often u heard of thigns like that....

The things and happening... just made the memories so wonderful.. Never.. and i mean never was there some other that made things that minor seems so impt...

Missed the mornings i always longed to look forward..
Missed the nite when the conversation seem forever and yet so fast....
Hate the silly arguements that often occurred.. but yet again... who actually bothered about that except U :)

I miss someone... never knew how to explain.. always dumbfounded by your qns.. caught watching video instead of replying u.. hahaha :)
Adore the " I HATE U "
just gladly enjoy the moment of 'airtime' <<<< U guys will never know >>>>

Where have u been..
I am waiting.. really waiting...

rotting at home after ~~

2007-11-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

Been away for holiday for almost 3 weeks.... finally reach home and have a good rest... but... somehow... i am feeling lost... wonder y ~ ~ how to explain my mood now... i am feeling good in a while... but yet again.. i feeling lost and frustrated in another sia.... arh ~~~ ~ ~

Been talking wif friends about their r/s and such... gals probs, guys probs..... in the end.... they ask me.. wat about me.. when am i getting another gf?? I was like... does it matter?? confused though.... kept wanting to have a company... to share the joy and laughter as well as the sorrow and pain... but... another thing running through my mind is... aint it good to be single right now ??? no additional load and weight on the shoulder... Wat is the balance between this two thing ~ ~

Seeking some support seriously.... mentally ~ ~would be great to have a sibling huh ~ ~ well... i kinda have sibling but den again.. i dun really ~ ~ ~ironic right ~ ~ nvm... not much ppl understand it though ~ ~

Let the song maybe tonite, maybe 2morrow bring u ppl to the feeling i am going through ~~ `:)

Up and away I go ~ ~

2007-10-03T00:38:00.001+08:00

Let see....hm... this week... last week... OK lets not see... LAME ~!!!!~

Tiring week once again... Sailing and more sailing coming up.. haiz... now i look like a small black charcoal le sia...hahha... watever it is... I look like a Malay le la... hahahahahaha

yawn... past few days.. cannot sleep properly.. wondered y...

BiBoooo ~ ~ @@@@!!!@$$$%%%^^^&&&&***())

Crazy... finally going oversea this month end... China ~ ~ ~Wooooo... Shanghai... lets hope it is going to be damn interesting.. need some spice in the trip... Snag...hahahaa Yawn ~ ~tired tired.. tired. tired... ok... getting stupid...

I am a Flirt... hehehehhee!!!!!

Dark grey sky...

2007-09-18T00:08:00.000+08:00

kinda feel lost suddenly... aint sure wat is going on... but i am lost in my track... choices out there are much much more... would i be stuck here like this...

Things around are started to get messed up... was at home mostly the whole day.. staring at myself... asking myself this and that... till a point... why am i doing this... ever since certain things happened, i just kept walking in circle...

seems to be like a joke...I am the joke... many things just seem to reflect back to me... even right now... the things i wan to blog out aint really coming out... i am feeling so trapped... trapped in the world i made... where is the key??? It is just outside the window.... but i cannot reach it myself... would there be someone to help me... Pls.....

Recently.. i had a dream.... was about a family.... wif my face in it.... but as the dream goes on slowly... i drifted out of the picture.... further and further away..... no matter how hard and fast i tried to run... it just aint getting any closer.... slowly, i saw my mum face........ that was the final straw......

broke down totally.... crushed by the picture and brought down hard on the floor.... I cried.....

Late nites.... without sleep...
memories faded slowly... looking forward to the very new day when i had yet to finish the late troubled nite as i am going through again now....

Thought i had already faced it again and again... but..... like some people say.... i just aint as strong as i looked....

i act like a kid....
i wan to be like a baby...
i wan.... just wat do i wan????
sniff ~ ~

sadness filled my nose again.............

i slapped myself hard today.... come to sense man.... yet again... the pain added a smile... the smile i used to hang on... just as fake....

Let me be.....
my world is trapped...
who will i allowed ??
allowed to open the door to the world of mine...

trust me... it aint easy.... those who have tried know it....
I was slowly made to be a loner... not wat i wanted.. but den again... it might just be wat i was suppose to be in the first place....

i miss the blue sky.......

Hey Hey Hey ~ ~

2007-09-12T23:17:00.001+08:00

Really tired... yawn... Thinking so so far away... the heart aint here wif me tonite... Gone wif it into the far end of another country....

Let me recalled...... Ah...

Would'nt it be nice if U are back to the best moment of your life ?? regardless if it is few years ago or to the extend of being a baby... No worries yeah ~ ~ahhaha

BUt den again... i would have to do this... SLAP U HARD IN THE FACE and say " WAKE UP DUDE, IT AINT GOING TO HAPPEN..."

hahhahhaahahhaaaaa.... face it, live wif the life, remember the memories and pls.... Look ahead in life... IF not, it would just be as tiring as before...

Looking forward... really forward to many things... :)
One thing i am sure... I had never felt so good before in my life.... Trust me when i said this... :) Lovely nite huh??? BUT NO STARS>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<< Grrrrrrr.....

Lets see, how to u define the impt of money??? would u be contented wif just the right amt of money to just survive like a very average family ??? ask yourself... let me know if u can ~ ~ :)

distance apart....

2007-09-05T01:49:00.000+08:00

Sipping on the cup of warm tea in the middle of the nite... wondering about one of the many things we share...

Funny to say, the ability of us being able to get into a arguement regardless of the distance so far.. would'nt it be better if we could just sit by each other and graze it through...

Emotion went high... feeling let loose...

Could it have been really you??

mildly saying the words like i never do...

I just stare blank into the sky that the god made for us...

I am a flirt<<<< it is a song ~ ~

2007-09-02T17:45:00.001+08:00

topic is just a song...hahaha dun get mistaken ~~ hahha so wat ?

wat is life compare to the living thing under the sea ? compare to a flying bird or even the slow crawling snail..

hahha.. y so many ppl say i emo har ?? am i really that emo ??

Tok to me and den again ~~ who do i wan to tok to in the very first place ??
Aint u ~ ~ aint u ,... but just U...

yawn ~ loving the day as it come closer ~~ wonder wat is in store for me ~~ could u spare some clue to me ??

I am a flirt ~ ~ Nice song ~~ so wat if i am a flirt ?? but am i ? gee... hahaha tell me ~~ hahhahaha

Say it right ~~ hahhah yeah ~~ ` i know u like it ~ ~ i know u do ~~
yeah ~ ~

hahahah weee.... so hyper today ~~ freaky ~ ~

Wisdom tooth extraction 2morrow ~ ~oh gee.... wonder would that be a kick in the balls pain ~~ hahhhahah MAd ~ ~

mysteriously....

2007-08-28T03:33:00.000+08:00

The world is spinning round and round.. and my heart is turning up side down...
Learning to appreaciate more of the things around me...

wat if.... nah.. there is no wat if...

Life is just kinda short of sth.... but.... wat ?

exhausted

2007-08-25T14:06:00.000+08:00

kinda drain out from all the busy lifestyle now...

Need to sit down and enjoy my cup of coffee soon...

Wanna have my slice of chocolate cake...

Thinking about the wonderful things in life...

Am tired...

Need a hand...

dying soon le....

2007-08-20T22:02:00.000+08:00

fainted at home.... admitted to SGH, doc say my muscle are breaking down.. might have heart problem... gee...... think i am dying soon...

kana drawn lotsa of blood..hahahahah

been put on the CGE test for at least 15 time...

thanks for the fun cruel world..

got a call from a stranger.. asking me about U... heard that you went drinking and till now they could not find u... and here i am half dead...

They could not find u in hongkong... heard that u are in shenzhen now... nobody can get into contact wif u including me... Come back will ya...

We are just both really sturborn ppl... guess we need to stop playing guessing game... i need u...

Wat a Fook UP day...

2007-08-16T20:43:00.000+08:00

haiz... kana accuse of doing sth i did not... FOOK ~ ~ ..|.. cannot tahan this shit... ppl there are just plain dumb.. pushing this and that away... never get appreciated after the hard work... only kana fuck for nth...

DO also kana FUCK
Don't do also kana fuck
Do wrong also kana fuck
Dunno how to do also kana fuck

DEN COME AND TEACH US HOW TO DO LA..... Government pay u come here and SLEEP HAR ~ ~ act like a fucking big shot.. useless shit.. ~ ~ still try to act like we owe u a living... KAOZZZZ

It is not the place or the workload that makes us rebellious... it is the lousy leader we have ~ ~

Treat us like dirtbag only reflect back to u FREAKING SHIT BAG............

Cannot believe I have to go through this...
WORSE... CANNOT EXPLAIN when i freaking dun even know wat the hell is going on at times.......

WHAT a stupid ass this is... DAMn... ~ ~ Totally lost it today... threw temper at my other friends instead...ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I need to get away from there for some times...

Guess this year, i would be spending my birthday like a angry man........
2morrow still got to see them again...HAiz... life aint easy in there...

or should i say, it aint life there....

Concept ~ ~

2007-08-09T03:56:00.001+08:00

Believeing in yourself and doing wat you believe is a blessing of faith.. :)

aiyoooo

2007-08-04T06:26:00.000+08:00

hahaahaha.. who is the last to people that post the comment ???hahha... i am not a nice guy la... hahaha so not much of a lost... the other comment... reallly is ..... all the way... :)

Tired....

Wat a dinner ~ ~

2007-08-01T21:40:00.000+08:00

hahaha...Another interesting dinner from Hk ~ ~~~ Sakae Sushi with another different flavour this time :)

The best... the dessert ~ ~ A huge coconut with birdnest and ginseng in it..... Hand made From HongKong.... my oh my ~ ~ how sweet can one be???

I am in love ~ ~ ~ ` :)

When will the time come??
Waiting...just waiting..
Day by day, time passes...
wonder at time if it is a dream....
but den again... does it matter???
so be it... time will tell :)

it has been long.... feel the feeling... touch me... let me feel your presence ~ `

stupid me...

2007-07-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Aiyoooooooo dumb me.... threw my key in my bike seats and lock it wif my wallet in it.... haizzzzzz

Have to spend some stupid cash on it yet again.... haizzzz

long nite to go.... wondered if there is sth for me do?? are there ???

guess my room is one thing i can do.. PACK UP...hahahaha
lazy me never pack my room again... hahahaa...

feel like swimming ...hahaha jump into the pool and go crazy in it...hahha
nut case..

Wat I wan ??

2007-07-28T12:58:00.000+08:00

There is always alot of things that each and everyone of us would like to have in life.......
Let say for instance.... Money,Car,House,Family-----basic stuff that many ppl would wan.......
And when time goes by.... ppl would appreciate if they have a partner in life.... a sould mate, a listening ear ~ ~ How about U ???
What would you really want in life ??

Would U envy those that already have the basics in life???
What about seeing other with their partner holding hands walking down the street??

Which would u rather have ?? Or which would u rather not have ~ ~ ~

Just woke up and kinda feel like staring out to the window as the rain pour down from the unbelievable sky above.....

Made me think about some stuff I talked with my friends yesterday...
Things aint going to change till u learnt to let go.... Well, maybe at times, somethings are not meant to let go ~ ~ ~ What do you people out there think ???

My hand is really rough from the things i do ~ ~ ~
How about yours ??

Do you believe in Karma?? hahahahaa I guess many people believe in it... Me ??? i believe in Karma too.... But more on Karma Sutra....hahhahhaaha ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~

Things like retribution ~ ~ ~ Do you wish for that to happened to the ppl around ya ?? and do u curse your last bf/gf about wat u are now ??? Grow up ~ ~ ~ Nobody in the world owe us anything......

Kinda like to have kids now.... hahahahh ~ ~ crazy thinking huh ~ ~ but i guess the idea of having a early family and a big family turn me on ~ ~ ~ :P

Any takers out there ??? Kidding ~ ~haahaaha

Felt it ~ ~ ~

2007-07-28T03:35:00.000+08:00

Nowadays... i just sit around and start feeling this special feeling.....
Got scolded by some friends, but this feeling is really good,

Long weekend this few days, need a good rest, been tired....... really tired..........
but all these goes away when my com is on....... Y ?? How??
Gee...... Amazing it is ~ ~

Would there be a day when it would not be the com i will be smiling at??
hahahaa.... the log is speaking ~ ~ Li Li lo lo....

God i am toking to myself.... hahaha

Not making sense anymore... SLap myself hard....
time is passing by Slowly....
JUst kinda wanna say....... " "<<<< special....

Surprise surprise ~ ~

2007-07-25T06:12:00.000+08:00

Back in the early afternoon ~ ~~ took a nap after chatting wif someone.....

Woke up wif a wonderful surprise ~ ~ :)

A early dinner send from someone indirectly From HongKong ~ ~ ~

Guess this was really a very sweet thing to wake up and found out about it ~ ~ :)

Very Happy ~ ~ thanks ~ ~

YES !!!!!!

2007-07-16T21:19:00.000+08:00

Was there a day when u stare at sth so hard and after a while... breathe out a heavy breathe and tell yourself that u feel wonderful today ??

Nowadays I feel really refresh ~ ~ though there are shit happening around me everyday.. but den when i think about it, hm.... things aint really that bad compare to the past... HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~

Every morning, things always start off in a sweet way ya :)
Every nite, things would end in a lovely way too :)

In the day, certain things might make it seen so unworthly of wat is happening...... but den again who can expect things to always work out perfectly in everyones' wants???

Been offer a 4months trip to go oversea to serve part of the Ns life........ Should I ???
4months seem really long......
Wat would things turn out after that ???
Many things to consider be4 making ths decision........
4months..............................................................................

nvm... it is a choice to make and by me.... :)

freaking week for me.... NOT really good but also not really that bad.. gee.....
wat am i toking about ? piangzzzzzzzz

yawn.......... everyday is a tiring day after being posted to this new place...
life seem to take for a slower pace now....

hm.... aint it good thing ??? I wondered ~ ~ like a old man taking a stroll down the lonely beach thinking of the good old times ~ ~ I wish.....................

Kinda feel like having a good time blasting my music... ahaha but damn.. it is late now... sure kana screw left and right if i do so... gee....

Sweating like shit now... been long since i worked out... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ` ~ ~ ~ ~ need a break from the singapore space ~ ~hahahaha...............

Let me feel the moonlight of your country will ya :)

Ta ta da da ~ ~

2007-07-02T02:44:00.000+08:00

Ah... after a long 16 days of mc... refreshed.. but not looking forward to the next sucky life at the now place... hm... but just i would just have to bear wif it ~ ~~

THings might just not be that bad after all ~~ ~

But a week out there would serve to be entiringly boring... hahahhah ~ ~ especially without a computer.... MY computer... hahhaha..

Hope time pass by quickly and dunno wat i wan to say anymore... Geeeeee

Geee.....

2007-06-30T22:50:00.000+08:00

First to anon... ~ guess that is my way of expression my monotonous feeling each and everytime i blog... :) this is Me ~ ~ :

Tired lifestyle huh ?? wat have I been doing lately ?? Got to know some fine interesting ppl ~ ~ nightlife in the club seems like a routine to the extend, smoking a cig is no longer wat i used to see and believe in..... drinking water has already change to downing the hardcorn liquor day after day......

Friends around me told me that I have change so much after the last r/s.....
hey, dun blame me k ?? who dun change after a phase in life ya ~ ~
When life take a toll, wat would u do ??
Toughen up yourself and walked on?? or simply lie flat on the hard cold floor and await someone to pick u on ??

:) dun look at me ~ ~ i aint understand which category do i belong too...

So tired... seem to have lost that glow...
will it be gone forever ???

Whenever i Kinda need a shoulder to lean on and when i look around..... emptiness filled the room.....but den again.... mother nature have been kind, the wonderful invention of 'Internet' , I can now look for a invisible shoulder.... Thank You ~~

Learnt that the people involved in life might just be the critical factor to wat u might become...

Tell me... Am I supposed to be like wat i should now ??

Nearly got into a bike accident this afternoon....
knocked my head again some stupid metal after that...
Whole body feeling weak....
Sick??
Gee...
Lucifer is looking for another friend to join him....

Poor man ~

2007-06-28T06:35:00.000+08:00

haha... anyone wan to donate $$ to me now??? hahhaha

Kinda poor after today... donated 90% of wat i have .. and that is going to make me so poor now... haiz.....

HAppy though... at least i can start to earn again ~ if not i get stuck there again ~ gee.... a bit drunk le ~ yawn ~ `

TUmmy ache ~

2007-06-27T06:58:00.000+08:00

Gee..... had a tummy ache... stay home almost the whole day till late evening... went have a super late dinner.... haiz.... guess i am thinking too much lately.... RELAX LA>.....hahahahhh

BOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOMBER in TOWN>>>>>> !!!!!! hahhah

still ~ ~

2007-06-26T05:29:00.000+08:00

Air is still after the rain..... still yet to be in the bed .... 5.31am.... wat am i thinking ??

looking at some photos of the past... recapturing some memories ~~ and smiling at some.... aint it good to recalled the good times u have in the past.... the laughters and smile.... the stupid things u done and the ridicular facial expression u posed for the camera ?? hahahhahahaaa...

Cheers ~ ~ ~

The Rain ~ ~

2007-06-26T03:25:00.001+08:00

3.26am...Just came back from supper.... met up wif a close friend... a friend of 17 years.... gee.... imagine... how many 17 years of friendship do u have ??

Got caught up in the rain.... was thinking... wat would the other side of the ppl be doing if caught in the rain... hahaha... LAME>>>>>><<<<<<<

Carried on riding in the rain.... drenched as expected.... was thinking.... Y are there such things as regrets??? I am learning not to have anymore regrets in my life... but guess, many a times... there aint a lot of choices to make huh.....

Having to live your life as it is the last ~ ~ how many ppl actually do that ??? well... i used to.... but not anymore... having a feeling like " gee... so wat if it is the last day of my life........ ?"
Who would u wan to spend wif on the very last day of yours ??

Family?
Friends?
Close Kins?
Lover?
Wife/husband?
Kids?
or even......... Alone ???

Many people will chose family or wife/husband or even lover..... but will there be ppl that choose to be alone?? Living the last day and dying off with only the air and dust by your side.....

I bet there are......
To continue living wif the news of your closed one leaving the world would even be more painful..... well... how do i know??

I came to experience it and learnt that hard a few times.......
Past is a scary Photograph........

Many thoughts came to me when i was riding in the rain for the past 1 1/2 hrs........ guess i ride to half of sg.... ate at least 6 supper after sending my friend back.... even the aunty asked if i was alright.....hahahaha guess the image of a drenched guy eating non-stop at a coffee shop seems too scary huh.....

Stuffed myself till almost burst..... hahahaha... enjoyment huh.... the Pain in my knee have started to take effect again.... gee.... guess it is time to say bye bye to competative basketball games huh .............

June,July,August...... Friends birthday coming up one by one.... gee.... friend birthday celebration on 27 july in a hotel....... gee.... guess i am going there alone.... haizz.... nvm... kinda used to the life of being single since it was almost wat i have always been....

Soon my birthday... gee.... wat am going to do this year... lets see... hang around in a pub and chill while drinking alone this year is wat i have in mind..... or rather stay at home and have some red wine?? Been long since I went drinking alone...... lets see.... 4 months ??? hahhaa... remember the last time I went drinking wif some friends but ended up going to another pub and drank a bottle of chivas alone.... gee.... But lucky, carolina and Ken actually went down looking for me at 4+ in the morning..... Thanks..... guess that was really wat i needed at that time...

Friends.... wat kind of ppl are we talking about here ?? how do you consider your friends ??
And wat do we seek for in friends ?? companionship??? listening ear or just another tool to used each other ??

Which way are u looking at ??? Think carefully be4 anwsering.......... Cos i been thinking really hard..... :)

Recently been talking to someone online... someone over the other part of the world...someone i dunno and have never met...kinda special someone... and thanks to that person... I have grown happier.... :)

Thank you..... Hope i had brought some joy and laughter to u :)

And Pls to all... I aint emo..... i just like to think deep..... hahahahahahahaha

a moody day.....

2007-06-24T23:19:00.000+08:00

dunno y the days started off quite moody.... and till at nite.. I am still quite moody... hm.... dunno y.... kinda hate this feeling... stupid...

Recent happening ~ ~

2007-06-24T23:03:00.000+08:00

Got posted to a new place.... met some very interesting ppl.... got into hospital for my knee injury.... and had some nice memories to think about....

Gee.. ever wonder when was the last time u actually sat down and think about wat u have been doing for the past 6 month?? Wat was the focus and purpose of the things u had done??? and Y did u do so???

Been thinking of certain things like that... kinda bored me though but at least it makes me get back on my track... better den swaying more and more off the course.... hahhaha... All thanks to my 16 days MC....hahahaha had lotsa rest and got back my focus... well there was someone else that actually told me life wasn't that bad... and look on the better side...
BEen a long time since anyone told me that.... it was a gentle pat on the head for me.... appreciated it... THank You....... it was a very nice chat wif ya... :)

Decide to make some new changes in life again... life is great... and I wan it to be even better....hahahahahahahaahh ~ ~ ~ Cheers to freedom ~ ~ ~

The never dying spirits will never say goodbye to the master of bravery ~ ~

Injury.....

2007-06-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

haiz... just came back from the hospital.... haiz... knee injury... seems serious this time... got 16 days of MC and 3 months of light duties... gee.. moreover still need to go for therapy... aiyoo.... stupid stupid stupid.... guess i have to be a dumb dumb and stay at home always liaoz... haizz.... there goes the fun i can have in the mean time... BOOOOOOOOo... ahhahaha better hope that there is no need for a operation.. IF NOT AHHHHHHHHHHHH.. pain leh..

Drunk ` ~~ hahhahha

2007-05-21T19:27:00.000+08:00

aiyoo.. got wasted on sat... dunno wat got into me... suddenly damn high.. drink drank and next thing i know... drunk ~ ~ ~hahhahahha lucky got friends around me ~~ hahah sisters ~ ~ ~ thanks for the tolerating my rubbish again ~~ hahahahahahahhaah

fat fat fat

2007-04-30T05:27:00.000+08:00

Gee... getting fatter and fatter liaoz ~~ dying of fats... hahahaha better start exercising sia ~ ~ but farking lazy nowadays.... aiyooo the bugs are back ~ ~ li li lo lo lo li li lo lo

just as it is ~ ~

2007-04-23T04:17:00.000+08:00

When life get down and boring ... wat would u do ??? When they are asshole looking at wat this blog is saying... guess wat i would SAY ?? FUCK OFF SHIT HEAD ~ ~and You know wat i mean ~ ~ RIGHT ??

Kaoz...... Watever ~ ~ Life goes on and on ~ ~ heard a very interesting theory from a friend.. being in the middle of 20-40 makes a difference in life... and I am so going to it happened... ~ ~ hahahaha... But first... it is time to remind myself how poor or how rich can a person be... which ever i have been through and watever has happened ~ ~ MOVE ON MAN.... tell that to me ~ ~hahahahahahaa.... got to be wat it has to be huh ~ ~ lets just hope everything goes back to normal ~ ~ no more screw up ~ ~ How bad can it be ??

Met some very interesting ppl recently ~ ~ gals from FHM, boss of a pub, boss of nike and some rich ass kids.... wonder wat are life for them compare to the many others... ~ ~tok to them and actually not much of a diff ~ hahah screwed ~ ~ kaoz... tired le... update another time ~

my life now...

2007-04-20T06:43:00.000+08:00

Dancing.... clubbing... smoking.... drinking.... how bad can it be ?? hahahahaha

The period in my life ~ ~

2007-04-06T22:31:00.000+08:00

They said there are ups and downs in life...... But what i am facing now is real DOWN..... kinda did a grave mistake in life recently......... and things happened in my course..... geeezzz.... now i am a person hated by the world ~ ~ well... so said... haizz.z.z.z.z. maybe this is the way of wat I should go through after wat i have done ~ ~ dumb ass ~~~ haizzz.z..z.z.z.

Confused ~ ~

2007-03-22T19:33:00.000+08:00

Gee... got myself into a state that makes me feel so lost...... going for the MPRB the next coming week ~ ~ gee... Another chance to ask myself what am I doing here ?? Being a officer of SAF is something I wanted to be. But as a naval officer ? gee.... struck me deep down... the knowledge and intensity of academic result requirement is sth I did not seem to handle well... Basic Qns ?? maybe.... but guess not the time to blame anyone ~ ~ kinda need to do some reflection myself, but guess as long as You can study well in here, things should go well even though there are people here that makes me wonder how they go in OCS in the very first place ~ ~

People that think of only themselves ~ ~ gee.... back stabber ?? ya ya.... I dun care... Such people actually exist in OCS, well guess there are this type of people everywhere that hide themselves so well from the big shots.... Talk so much nice things infront of others, turn their back and start another great fantasy tale ~ ~ hahahaa... makes me wonder y ? Do not like that person ?? den just keep away or dun bother about that person mah... y go around talking shitty stuff ?? hypocrites....... Ahhhhhh ~ ~~ think i just need to vexed it out in here ~ ~ unity ??? Each division seems to be very unity but little conflicts happened in between and others in the division does not seems to want to help solve the problem... guess I am guilty of it as well ~ ~ hahahahahaaaaaaa... crap ~ ~ ~ To the point that makes me wonder y bother so much since others dun care.... haiz.... guess I have changed alot during the training in MIDS wing.... the enviroment made me another person.... true friends in here are few... but at least there still is....

Nick Tan, Junjie, hong rui, heng de, chun yang, felix ,benjamin and James ~ ~
People that I can trust on if I ever need help, especially Junjie and James ~ ~ without the both of them by me, guess I would have give up long time ago ~ ~ Junjie being the ever supportive friend ~ ~ though he might make people wonder why is he so ' straight' and so regiment, but that is the way he is and will stay that way no matter wat, never rejecting any help when require and always fight to the end regardless wat... thumbs up :)

James Brown ~ ~ hahaha... dislike this person so much in BNT cos he kept wanting me to think the way he thinks... hahaha got into quite a few arguement with him previously but when MSTD came, got to know him so much better, one of the few people that I can rely on if I ever needed help in my academic and never rejected me once... best memories was the astro navigation lack ~ ~ He was like sleeping and not paying attention the first 2 days and I was actually the one teaching him... but when the test came, he became the one teaching me instead... Geee..... Malu... and one more thing, got accused of copying his work by Vishal. haiz... I made an effort to stay up the night before to do the stuff and he say I copied James work.... guess his impression of me was really bad... guess I could only say Sorry ~ ~ James, his attitude as a MXO made me impressed, though many said he did a bad job, but from what I seen, he deserved to get a pat on the back and words of encouragement, 'WELL DONE, My Friend ~ ~"

Back to myself, guess I need some guidance right now, but unsure of who to turn to....Division mates ? DO ? CO ?

haiz.... guess I have to think hard by myself bah ~ ~

Back from MSTD

2007-03-13T22:16:00.000+08:00

Whoooo.. just came back from the 6 week trip... gee.. tiring trip but overall not bad.. at least i learnt so much more den i did in BNT which was a good thing and it indeed was a boast to the knowledge.. especially as a role of the MNO.... ahahahaaha... COoolllll

But throughout the trip, saw a lot of change in many people... maybe even in myself... certain people was just plain selfish i would say... haiz... well that is life but not to fear, there are good souls around to help out as well... but den certain things came to me as a bad thing... got into some problems during the trip which slowly turn into a big issues... gee.... talk to some people and found out why the issue got so big into a woo haa.... haiz... well den again... it is always our words against the officers' words...

Truth can sometime become detorted when a people say this word " I DUN BELIEVE "... well, what can u say if this really happened ??

Just have to listen and really make sure we dun do the same mistake again lo ~ ~ ~haiz,.,.,,,,,,

Mids WIng

2006-12-23T16:13:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since i made a entry.. life in singapore forces is tiring...haha.. as of a navy officer cadet.

Different type of life in there compare to army wing. Smarter uniform, no more physical shiongness only mentally. Studies are the Gs in there and that is where i sucks.... hahahah sad to say...

Ppl in here is a bit different from the army wing as well... PLastic is wat can be describe.. But lucky for me, i am a happy go lucky person and that is a thing in me that keeps me off the track of others.. Manz.... wat am i toking a bout... ahhahah

Ah.... 3months have passed in OCS... 6 more months to go and a 6 weeks oversea trip is coming up soon... OH my.... hahhahah free trip to some idiotic and lame place i guess...but going to pay it off using our mentally tiredness... haiz....

Guess wat... I just got into a accident while riding my bike.. Geezz... lucky only managed off wif slight bruise... but den again./.. It a lesson learnt....

Oh sianz............ life can just be so monotone nowadays... haiz.... routine is a bore and it is a just a MUST in there... haizz...

Plastic place in a acceptable world...

Machaim barbie dolls... LOL....

Army daze....

2006-09-07T11:15:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since i post liao.... hahaha.. many things have happen, and things have toughen up.... Been through army life in BMTC 2 at Whiskey company made me felt so good.... but now POP liao... kinda miss that place liaoz..... haiz.... Got company best shot award, sth to remember and really will strive to get even better things.... dunno wat the fuck i am toking about.... FARK ~

army life coming liao...haha

2006-06-27T07:19:00.000+08:00

Woooo.. going army on 6th of july liaoz.... oh my my my... die liao la... grown too fat too run laioz... sure cannot tahan first few weeks...hahahah

back ~ ~

2006-05-21T23:52:00.000+08:00

Tired from a day of outing wif with my aunts.....

:) learnt to go wif the flow.....
Some good things are coming soon....hahaha....
:)

Going to read my past 1 year +++ blog sia.... review my own blog...hahaha

....

2006-05-20T00:33:00.000+08:00

life goes on....

Yawn....

a day to start...

2006-05-19T08:47:00.000+08:00

8plus in the morning... could not sleep again... things just ended... dunno wat to type... seems to be so blank..

read a friend's blog and found how the situation seems quite familiar but only diff is the problems occur... Wat was the prob ?? think it does not serve as a problem anymore.... Is this a brand new day or is it a day of haywire day.......

I HATE YOU.... was a word often heard......
but no longer will be heard...
cos it had ended....
I _ _ _ _ YOU.........

wat is the four letter word that can fill the phase.... HATE, MISS , LOVE, .... does not matter le....

Was it really a excuse to ask for a time out ??

I once heard my friend said sth.... he say everynow and then to take a break in the things you do so as to enjoy your life further now the road and to appreciate it more each time u do so....

But wat i heard from another person was, it is just a excuse to run away from things... if u like doing it, why must u take a break and run away from the things u like to do...

I had my choice in Making a decision.....

Ever tried to do sth so hard but end up doing nth ?? I did.....
Ever tried doing sth so hard but got a ans that break the inner soul of you?? I did..
Ever wan sth so bad till the point u break down?? I did.....
Ever tried to change to make someone so hard that u miss yourself ?? I did....
Ever love someone to the point when u hated yourself?? I did......
Ever change for the sake for someone to reach the requirement of someone?? I did.....
Ever think you fail so badly that wan to take a break?? I did......
Ever get suspected for nth you have done?? I did......
Ever caught your loved one wif another guy without knowing?? I did....
Ever forgive someone to the point that u start thinking wat's right and not??I did..

Think the list can go down since i am in a lousy mood....

wasted feeling......

Mood Disappointed.....

A moment to remember....

2006-05-18T23:25:00.001+08:00

Listening to some songs right now... having so much thought right now but no where to vexed out...hahaha....

Ever wonder wat your friends and loved one are doing on the very point of time when u needed them ?? Watching Tv?? Playing Games?? Out having fun ??
How would one know when u need them ? There is nothing that one can say or do.....

Listening to Open all Night by Bon Jovi....

Nice Song wif a meaning to understand.....haha... feel like escaping to a new surrounding.... where the world is totally new.... Different ppl, diff surround and even the air is different...

Y are my blog always sounds so sad ?? Well basically let me admit sth.... i often feels sad as the surrounding by me seems so cold.... Too cold to bear but den wat can be done ?

The world in me seems to be grey.... to grey to be true....

always seems to telling myself that i have a better life compare to many out there... but many a times i would ask myself another QNs: wat are the better things i have in life ?? a room of my own? shelter over my head ?? food on the table ?? clothes over my body ??

If there is something out there that i can find warmth wif.... i would gladly give up all that..... and i seriously mean it....

(Angels among us)<<< NIce song wif a meaning to touch...

I wan the feeling that i have longed to experience......
Do i really have to beg for it ????? or would that never happen to me in this life time..... Wat have i done to deserve this....

Mood: devastated......

The 2 types of music i listen to.... R&B and Sentimental songs.... R&B allows me to relax and vexed out watever a days of tiredness.... Sentimental songs touched me deep down where i had longed for.....

Almost everynite i would like listen to sentimental songs... regardless even if i listen to songs over a thousand times.... the feeling would just be there....

Mother day just passed a few days.... the day i have never celebrated in my life...

the one person that brought me to this world.... i never had a chance to thank her and say Happy mother day..... a most unfilial kid i am.....

i am very very empty right now.....

wat a day....

2006-05-18T22:43:00.000+08:00

Bad start from the very first thing i did.... OPEN MY EYE....
but at least a good end cos i tio TOTO...haha.... lame........

WAt a day...... haiz....

Good thing just never last... well at least i think they dun...

The world is lonely ~ ~

2006-05-15T05:00:00.000+08:00

Many ppl said that the world is filled wif happiness and joy
While other said that the world is just filled wif sadness

I say the world is filled wif ....... i dunno... i agree wif both the Ans...

Looking forward into the future and thinking about wat will happened or wat might happen just seems so argh.... Will be a good next time but there will be a very bad next time too.... hahha... wat am i referring to ?? I also not very sure about it..

Suddenly woke up and feel like so moodless..... Feel so sianz and restricted... too small..... does not seems logical... but it is just even more logical.... hahahaa....

Need a helping hand... but which hand am i looking for ?? The one hand that i can really hang on to as a survival.... Spiritually.....

Dwelling into the past seems so useless... but there are just ppl who does so... one of them is Me...

Why do ppl feel tired and sick of certain things at times ?? Give me some Ans pls....

The last time i felt like going to Sentosa was back a period of time....
Dun really like that place anymore... dunno y...

Ppl do change as times goes by... regardless wat kind of ppl and facing wat problems and things.... They will change... this is something that i am kinda sure....

May le.... 2 months after my poly life.... haiz.... waiting for the next chapter to unfold... hopefully very much different from wat i am facing be4.... :)

sick ~

2006-05-13T05:21:00.000+08:00

Sick and tired...

THE END

Another of those nite ~

2006-05-08T03:21:00.000+08:00

Good news : I got my second interview for my pilot application ~ ~ and that means i pass that stupid 5 hour test....

Main ~

Numb to the certain things might just be the right solution and doing nth mught be the best way of solving things...

had a long tok wif a friend some time ago, tok about some common topics like friends, r/s , work and stuff and wat was told to me was sth i deem to agree... haiz... not feeling sad or wat but maybe sometimes just have to face the fact, the world will still be revolving regardless wat of u do and face the truth and stop hiding....

There are ppl around me that just does not seems to understand reality, thinking that watever they do is right and watever others do is wrong.... how come ?? or is it the one that does not face the fact a failure to themselves in the very beginning ?? cos even they themselve cannot even face themselve.... pathetic....

Been long since i ask myself this Qns " Wat is it that i want ?? Truthly ?? "

I cannot answer that Qns anymore..... or was i lost somewhere during the path to wat i am right now..... Corny...

Qns were popped to me on some occasiona and immediate disgust was felt by me.....
Would those Qns just stopped ?? It is worthless... and of no longer any meaning.... i just hate it....

Kinda just want to be alone for a short time period... slowly get my focus back.. cos i just does not seems like me anymore...

Back from Koh Samui ~ ~

2006-04-30T03:29:00.000+08:00

Just Came back from a 10 days trip in Koh Samui,Thailand, a offshore island...hahaha.. damn relaxing place sia.. The 10 days are not even enough sia... hahahah... Was there wif my gf and friends... stayed at a very ulu place far away from the city...haha.. drive there also need at least 30 min sia... more over no traffic lights one sia...hahhhah

Had fun eating and relaxing all the ways sia... though during the trip, sth happened causing some funny disturbane...haha but i dun care...hahahahahahah... Eat eat eat and let me tell u sth... the weather there is so damn good... clear blue sky and bright bright day.. Whooooooo Shiok sia... even the place where i stayed, coconut villa also has dogs for protection sia... a big rock weller and a poodle...hahahaha damn funny dogs....

had a very fun trip over there sia... even had a new tattoo over there.... a painful experience... a very painful experience.... haiz... but den very nice... totally like it alot.. wise choice...hahhhahahahaha

total money spend: around 900...hahah.. over spend due to some certain unexpected things happening... hahhah

hm....

2006-04-07T03:30:00.001+08:00

Aiyoooo mafan sia... have to go and take another napfa test again sia... kaoz.... if not i will have to go in a month earlier and that date is 8th of June... damn... just because i completed my napfa on 1st of june 2005 and it is over a year and not counted.... KAOZ>.... stupid Mr Kassim la... keep pushing us to go for the napfa and now in return i get wat ??? another napfa ...

So by calculating the date ... after passing my napfa, i should be going in on 8 of july... .hm.... not bad not bad earlier den i expected... haha... okok.. hope my pilot result turns out to be positive, kana torture during the 5 hours test sia... better let me have the good news den the bad new... gee... Wonder wat it is like in there sia... hm.... Heard about some laughter from my friends but some just dislike army life... wonder y.... hahahaahaha.... another chapter of my life is coming up... DUn miss it... diaoz.... machiam like a espisode

yawn... sianz.... nvm la.. still a few month to go.. dun care so much.. Going for a 10 day this month on the 19 wif my gf and some friends... hahah going to enjoy liao sia... SHIOK ~ ~

hey....

2006-03-30T05:38:00.000+08:00

been a long time since i updated... lotsa things going on right now yah... hm... finished my poly life.. went to a kelong in mersing in Malaysia... chalets... chalets and more chalets... now just waiting for my NS... rotting away... dunno wat to do in the mean time.. too lazy to even go and work...

Time now is 5.39am dunno why cannot sleep.... haiz... going CMPB again... dunno y... went for the status already... but maybe this time is for airforce one... so wat the heck... damn far sia... haiz... need to chill out more... been a long time since i really went out in the sun... wasted a chance today... as it goes on..........

Calm feeling right now.. listening to the aircon blowing and thinking of the new day that is oncoming... feeling quite empty.. dunno why and dun really care about it... kinda just wan to relax... no nth no watsoever and just listen to the breeze out there..

sigh....

Miss the younger days..... no worries no trouble and just go out and play....

Would there still be such a day......

In a day where the sun is dimly lighted....

2006-03-07T18:00:00.000+08:00

Was there such a place call Home ?? how do one define home as ?? Or wats is a family ?? tired of such Qns.......

I need Ans.......

Found a temp job liao... but only working at short hours... so going to find another one to make the day fuller.... haiz.... tired sia... i need a Home.... to rest.....

Exams are over...

2006-03-05T19:00:00.000+08:00

Phwee.... after a long struggle.. all is over and a new chapter is about to begin... ahhaha.. army life coming... Gee..e.e... dunno can survive not... but i guess it is just a thing in life bah... no matter wat also have to go through one .... hahaha

A process to help me grow up and be stronger in my thinking... hm... think going to find a temp job for a month or two so wun be too tied up in my pocket... haha.. be4 going army must go some place for shopping or relaxation... singapore really not much of a place to play sia... or should i say.. everything here involve money sia... well mostly la... hahaha

haiz... sianz... dunno wat i wan to do sia... dunno dunno... had a tok wif a classmate recently.. and was thinking about wat to do after my army... dunno sia... really dunno sia... every now and then, just think and wonder here and there sia...but still not a confirm ans is in my head...

Feel like playing basketball... but den again... dunno y i just dun seems to want to play sia... contridicting rite?? well this is me right now.... no decision making... just a lost sheep in the herd or flock... eng poor la....

Just another day ~ ~

2006-02-17T05:47:00.000+08:00

Exam just started.... anxious m i but unconcern about it.... Feels that since last year already, might as well not do so much.... just anyhow study an pass the damn exam can liao....

Dunno y but just cannot seems to really focus so much liao... hm... dunno y... another nite when i cannot sleep... 610 in the morning liao... haiz..... a new day arrive even faster be4 i remember the last nite..

Kiss the forehead of the lover once.....
Take the hand of your loved one.....
Walked down the beach....
Staring at the Brightly lit Moon.....
Background of the wonderful sea....
Breeze blewing through wif smile...
Tickle her nose...
And hug her be4 the wonderful scene that might just come once a lifetime....

:) think just stay up and listen to music bah.... hehehe
feel like going out and eat alot alot of food sia... but think getting broke liao... play and eat too much liao...hahah

There is no harsh time when i m facing myself...

2006-02-15T05:30:00.000+08:00

Very tired... did not sleep well again... or should i say.. did not sleep at all... cos of exam... and the troublesome part is i still cannot get much into my brain when my exam is a few hours later... haiz... listening to songs right now... and dreaming away....

Wish that time would just stop right there an then.... The lovely tune of melody spinning throught my head and the heartbeat i feeling it is just as smoothling... after this period of exam would be a short break for me,( that is provided i pass my exam) be4 i get into army.... times flies huh.... this year coming to 21 liao... seems so fast.. but i know the time ahead would be even faster... :) after army, start working or study Uni( which is very low chance unless oversea) or having part time courses... or even get to sign on..... Lotsa decision to make at this point of time.... yet feeling the unfelt enjoyment that i had receive should be greater and much more....

Human... always lusting for more and never satisfy... i understand theory very well myself.... hahaha... but den again i know myself too....

Had a few occasions of being the choice maker or breaker.... but den, things better be left that way in a matter of fact or watsoever...

Really wan to go for a trip soon after my exam... aunt had taiwan in mind and i have korea in mind.... well, whichever it is i will enjoy i guess... since both places i have yet to been to.... even going to nearby countries wif my friends and gf would be interesting... as long as i m enjoying it whichever the place would be will surely be fun....

Thinking of the fun.... well wonder when would it be when one have to stop playing and start to be more serious in other more impt stuffs..... when would it be my turn and at wat point of time would it be ??

kinda bored of the fun i been experiencing right now... nth really that fun gets me into it... should start going for more different things since i stop playing basketball for quite a well already.... time to cut my tyre that is building up wif 5-6 meals a day.... ha.... ha....

Looking forward to the coming holiday.... :) need a rest ....

full ~ ~ and tired ~

2006-02-13T07:31:00.000+08:00

haiz.. had lots of eating the past few days...haha.. and the thought of exam coming just make me feel so bored... gee... troublesome troublesome... some more three weeks... so damn long sia... yawn ~ ~ ~ not sleeping well these few days... cannot seems to be able to sleep throughout the nite... seems too uptight over the deadline and exam coming...

haiz... cannot tahan sia... think i better study liao.. sianz..

cannot sleep sia ~ ~

2006-02-11T04:39:00.000+08:00

been at least adding up to 2 1/2 days not sleeping le.... cannot get to bed sia... exam and project piling up sia.... headache.. wan to play awhile but does not seems to be able to get past it ~ ~

coming week and the following weeks are all exams and project... shit head sia... dunno can handle not... too much liao... i actually got 2 modules that require me to study the whole book that each at least have 130+ slides to study... no tips no watsoever... wow kaoz.... murder sia.. haiz,,. somemore 2morrow got work sia... and now is 5 liao.. i still cannot get to sleep sia... wow laoz eh ~ ~ how arh ~ ~ `

sianz.... better finish up my poly siaz... start to get bored liao.... yawn ~ ~

emotion carry on life

2006-02-01T03:44:00.000+08:00

dunno the little letters in my life Abcdefgh..... i wonder... wat makes someone grow up ??/ is it time that makes us grow ?? or is it the things that we go through that makes us learn ??? or is it the ppl that we meet makes me remember ?? hm... 2006 this year liao sia... hahaha... suddenly going to turn 21 liao sia hahaha seems like very fast hor ???

From sec sch till now.. there are many turning point in life liao... maybe to some, all these turning point that happened is like 'aiya... like that only....haha bo liao leh' but when it comes to personal me thinking.. or when it happened to u, the feeling of it might just seems so bad... dunno wat i m really thinking... listening to Si Lu by liang jing ru....hahaha. suddenly heard it my friend's car so dL and listen in my dark room of resending feeling..

closing my eyes for a min and listen to the songs as well as feeling my heartbeat.. really feel like been alone for some time... cos think i need some time to find my self back... seems to be losing myself... seems to leave things back so far... like suddenly dun care about much things liao sia... seems to have lost my feeling.... dunno y... just wan to go for a long run wif no disturbance.... can anyone help me without letting me know u are helping ?? feel kinda desperate at times like that.. though i know the very next morning i wun feel wat i feel right now...

2006... a very new year... yet i never set any resolution for the year.. very unlike me..... dunno y... just did not have the motivation at all... no target in life for the year... just wan to live my life happily... very afraid of being unhappy this year.... kinda very exhausted... no one to help me lighten the burden on my shoulder...

keeping silent really help calm me down sia... by doing so, i tend to think things more nicely..hahaha self hypnotise sia...haha think i need a very quiet place to relac myself wif a lovely wife that support me in my doing.... a successful man's back always has a quiet supportive wife.... hahhaha... a proverb... i will be a sucessful person.... i know.... i will not be looked down... not in this life time... got my pilot interview... but dunno y thinking of changing my option le... need to think about it...

a turn in life ~ ~

2006-02-01T03:27:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New year ~ ~ hm.... things really do happened... i dunno... think i m just understanding the diff in ppl from every different corner of the world.... wat i need and want is diff in a way or two... is not about asking for it... but it is about how ppl displayed it out... may not be the perfect move but it is surely a 'move'....

gladly understand the major thinking from wat i knew... yes... i wan sth like that from the very beginning... but since i accepted this, i should have accepted everything open handedly... is not about receiving... but it is about giving...

i really understand... how many ppl are willing to do this ?? the ppl around... many aint going to understand this... till sth happened... may not be the best but it is sth from someone ~ ~

a friend of mine is going to ROM liao... feel so happy for her... really am///

I miss my mum.... :) suddenly the need of a family seems so impt...
A Qns i hate to ans.... do u have any siblings ?? or are u the only child....

and the ans i hate saying.. ' yar.. i m the only child.....
ever understand the feeling ??? well... i dun ask of u all to understand... cos i wun wan any to feel the feeling i been through.... :) a smiling face outside but a unhappy face inside :( ... I miss calling Mummy.....

Chinese New Year coming liao ~ ~

2006-01-26T01:47:00.001+08:00

Aiyoo/// another new year coming liao... going to gong xi fa cai again le...hehehe.. can eat a lot of goodies and collect ang pow liao... shiok sia...hahahah... another few more days to rest sia... shiok ~ ~hehehe

dunno wat i wan to write right now ... but just wan to write lo...hahha.. just came back from JB alone... sianz... go there pump petrol.... go there pump twice is = to in singapore pump once.... imagine... my petrol tank is 23dollar.... save 50 % or more sia.... hahahaha but ma fan la... have to travel there and back home.. lucky i live at sengkang... go there quite fast... hahah

sianz.... going to complete my poly life liao... wow... three years so fast sia... hahah... so fast going to graduate liao... den soon going army liao... YES>>>> looking forward to army sia... dunno y also... haha. but hate the idea of me shaving off my hair... going to be so damn tu* hahah den go in 2 years.. hm... dunno wat will become of me...hahahaha

2006 ~ ~ ~

2006-01-17T03:12:00.000+08:00

A new year have arrive... the old year is already gone... but m i a new guy ?? or has the old me yet to leave?? Dunno wat to ask for cos the things are only words of useless crap...

never really understand wat i really want till the time has come to face it... Been a person like me... wat about it ?? Feel so tired at some points of time, but things still has to go on ~ ~ yah.... no matter wat happened... the world is still rotating and will never stop ~ ~ like the things swirling round my mind ~ ~

Hated the life before.... still hating this life right this moment .... God spare the one as thy shall be gone.... To belive is by seeing... but by seeing wat i aint wan to see is a torture... wat i did not know turns out to be a horror in life... Pathetic....... just smile and let things goes... cos never will one understand when things did not happened upon that very person ~ ~

Many people may walk across the life of someone... but who really stay in the end ?? I Dunno ~ ~ hahaha... dun wish to waste thing doing crap.... time to wake up and start enjoying the life ~ ~

tired day again.... or as usual... nvm... the tirness to diff ppl is not the same... exam these few days... haiz... waste so much time studying last min work... and enduring the terrible time.... i just say Hellloooo... you are ?? and good byee.....

christmas just passed...

2005-12-28T02:12:00.000+08:00

A new year is coming and many other things will follow by... friends, school and gf... hm... had a fullfilling year, had so much joy and laughter but not to forget the sadness and trouble that filled the year... hahaha... and right now... having a sickness now... gee.. wat a way to end a year...haha... but nvm... the new year will surely be a better year...

Things are going great, lots of dreams are coming up and have been going quite smoothly.. thing between my r/s are good and though sometime still have those small argument, i find myself loving her more and more... haha stupid her... just make me love her more... and certain things i found out when i m having a hard time... was a surprise.... secret ~ ~ :)

Friendship ~ ~ hm... kinda feel a strange feeling over some friends... very different feeling upon some of them as they have change suddenly ~ ~ or should i say the feeling change ??

Gee... studies and project come in a major load... haiz... holiday also cannot really take a good rest sia... sianz... tired and sick right now... but i know that 2morrow will always be a better day ~ ~ :)

life is short ~ ~

2005-12-11T08:25:00.000+08:00

kinda feeling very sleepy after my gf left...hahha... so early in the morning and she have to go for her clinic job ~ ~ gee ~ ~tiring sia ~ ~ well i have to go for my work later too... this week at funan IT Mall...haha aiya... i wan to write a longer blog one.. got feeling come...hahah need to go toilet liao ~ ~kaozz ~~ write another one another time ~ ~though not much time left for me... too much project liao ~ ~sianz~ ~ ~

tired ~~

2005-12-06T01:53:00.000+08:00

i wan a place to rest... to ease the problems and tiredness... a place wif no problems... though there are no such places...

just wan to stay at home...

feeling ~ ~

2005-11-23T17:38:00.000+08:00

wat is a world wif wif silent?? a perfect moodless world wif the slight dim light hanging over everyones' shoulder... haha... perfect moment of love and laugher.... was walking home just now and felt the familiar quietness around me that surround me other den my ipod...

Feel very relax in a way or two... though i still can compare the feeling of silent wif the sound of my gf that nag at me now and den... haha... diff type of effect that have a similar feeling overcoming me... Kind of smiling to myself after the short walk back home/...

listening to sentimental songs and kind of feel the love tat was shower to me in the young age... but that is the past liao... kind of miss those stupid loving times... as that will always be a memory hiden back at the brain cell somewhere....

Some times just wonder wat ppl say of me... YOu are smart but y u dun wan to study.... hahaha... how do u define smart ?? and wat is the diff between a smart and foolish person ?? the line that seperate them is onli a line apart.... Studies is just a form of knowledge.... i dun understand... does one getting a zero means he is stupid ?? and getting a 100 means a smart guy ??

I got 100 be4 but y i dun feel that i m smart ?? i got zero be4 too but y dun i feel stupid ?? hahha... tell me a ans man ~ ~ ~ :)

hm...

2005-11-17T09:17:00.000+08:00

bike and studies... yawn.... tired... ok ok ~ ~ going to makan and abck to lesson liao ~ ~kan boring ~ ~

wat m i thinking ??

2005-11-17T02:54:00.000+08:00

hm.... kinda feel out of way after a chat wif my friend last nite... happened to get to know more stuff den i was suppose to know in the first place when things was already out of place liao... damn.... how do i confront myself sia... totally cannot understand it sia... but den things should just settle down for the time being i guess...

so ignorance sia... i just dun understand to the fact la... cannot take it sia... Arh.... dunno whether m i suppose to be angry or watsoever sia... just dun like the feeling of being lied to.... y can't human being be more true to each other ??

how to believe if peopl choose to break the chain of trust in the first place ?? just felt kinda low in the feeling sia... aARhhhhh ~ ~ cannot get over it sia... trying so hard... haiz... maybe a sorry or a true hearted apologize is really needed in a way or two... haiz.... i feel terrible in my form of understanding.... but wat can i do to make ppl understand how i feel ?? do i really have to say all out so as to let them know... but why doesn't their heart strain when they lie.... or m i just too concern wif the thinking i m having right now ?? human are born to lie to one another.... i admit that i too have lied be4... maybe wat i have done also apply to the rest too... cos i had lied be4 too... hAAHAHAH... corny it might sound... terrible the feeling that it hurts..... could not really sleep last nite after wat i heard... just made my blood really boil to the extend sia... i wan to understand the fact but just cannot accept it... hahaha.. maybe i m giving myself too much stress in a way or two... haiz... fine... dun care about it liao... wats happened had happened... it is writen at the back of brain... just whether will history repeat itself again... cos when that day happened... mayvbe it is time to rewrite the next history that will take place....

~ ~

2005-11-14T16:52:00.000+08:00

back wif a post....hahaha... a friend in need is a friend indeed....hahha... why do girls cry ??? perfect reason is = they do not need a reason...hahaha....

Why do guys cry ?? Reason is simple... they are human too....hahaha... Life is cruel... and it makes everything seems better when wat u do is wat affect yourself the most... yesterday nite was a nite never to be forgotten.... had such a headache in the middle of the nite.... but den was glad i woke up.... :) the pain just seems to went away.... hahhaha... drunken dudes.....hahhaha... 4 drunk ass was in my house + me = 5 drunk ass....hahaha... haiz... receive a call from ah pear in the morning... and felt sth so familiar.... a kind of feeling looking from a distance... though it seems nth at all.. but den it is sth in the overall....

tired le... good nite ~ ~

~ ~~ ~

2005-11-12T15:15:00.000+08:00

no more post..... write it in my heart......

Days these days.....

2005-11-11T15:59:00.000+08:00

skip lots of classes.... dunno y... woke up early in the morning and yet telling myself not to go for the lesson... laziness i guess... back to the usual me... haiz... went to see a chinese doc.... was told that my knee is quite serious... need to relax and rest a lot... even walking have to be cut down... geeezzz.... told me no more basketball for 6 mth... OHG... how to .... guess i just have to learn it the hard way.....

Met up wif two of my pri sch 'sis'... so much changes in them liao... haha had some catching session and went to play pool and K-box wif one of their bf joining us... gee... ~ ~ hahaha.... it been so long since i got to meet up wif them... so much things to tok and lots of memories.... going to meet up wif them this friday for a drink... hahaha... first time going drinking wif them sia... hope none of us get drunk sia... cos in watsoever case.. i will have to send them home sia... aiyoo... y m i born wif a dick infront and not mountains instead.... hahaha... typical thinking... went to catch a movie wif a sec sch friend today and was like kinda fun... tok rubbish and crap throughout sia... hm.... so tired and restless... think i go and sleep liao bah... nite my friends..... i m gone....... tonite.....

~~

2005-11-02T22:14:00.000+08:00

31th was a hell of a nite... partying through all nite wif a bunch of friends...haha... indochine..geezz.... freaking small sia.. but atmosphere was still not so bad sia...hahaha... dance till the late wee.... and went to weizhong house for another round of drinking... geez.... freaking hell of mixture from ster... almost a goner for some ppl...<<< u know who u are>>>>. hahahah... drank till shiok... and subject of topic was limited onli to ** ** ** ** ** hahhahah.... another nite gone... gee... dunno y nowadays i cannot get to sleep at all...6.09 am liao... still cannot sleep... dunno wat the hell m i going through sia... haiz... had a tok wif a sis online and she was all troubling about her bf... gee.... sad to hear that... but den everything always has a meaning to sth... is onli whether or not u find the ans to it....hahaha

OK la... dun fret anymore liao... next monday is going to be SCH reopening liao... WOoWoOWo... hot chicks.... here i come....hahahhah... heard form my friends that my school now is filled... and i Mean FILLED wif niceeeesssss gals... can bio liao...hahahaha... but that have to wait first.. cos i will be going bangkok this thursday... haaha some holiday be4 i get back to sch yah ~ ~enjoy... i hope i do.. hm.... going to explore some places there liao sia...hahha wonder if i have anymore $$$ to spend sia.. totally wasted all my $$ in my bank... as good as gone.. but den.. it is not the first time i gone broke....hahaha.. i always manage to survive to my next riches.... till den ~ ~ ~

stare blankly....

2005-10-31T23:23:00.000+08:00

Gee... could not fall to sleep sia... from the last post i made till now i still cannot sleep sia... haiz... dunno wats wrong wif me... tensed up suddenly... gee... now is 7.14am liao sia... going gym and swimming wif some kakis later sia... hm... afternoon going out wif a sec sch classmate den at nite go and chiong again... shiok... indochime tonite... dunno wat special things will we go through this time... just5 wan to party whole nite sia... no rules no watsoever... just lifting my body into the spirits lo...hahhaha...... lets see whether tonite can break record not...hehehe... secret... lame la... hm.... morning liao leh... going to do wat sia... sianz.... rotting liao la... dunno how many nite never really sleep liao.... almost everynite my friends come over and play sia... the new sengkang chalet liao lo...

:) hm... heard from some friends that the truth that always seems to hurt aint always the most hurtful thing u will hear.... but the one that tells u that truth.. hm... true a not har?? Vote leh... I vote... True... ARh..... freaking knee cap sia.. think need to use some screw and tighten it liao.. haiz... not worth it sia... play basketball till like that... yet wat i achieve ?? haiz... waste my time and passion for it... till now yet about to find my real team mates sia.. only a few here and there that are so scattered around.... nvm la.. maybe basketball aint my cup of tea after all bah... just for leisure lo.. as a friend said to me.. y u wan to play so hard?? play for fun good enough liao mah... haiz... how good is consider good enough?? the sweat and anger throughtout it just made me wondered.... cannot imagine wat it would have been if i continue to stick to running as my CCA...haha... run run run.... wrong move again...haha... nvm la.. over liao la.. anyway running just seems so boring... all u can do is move your leg and sweat in a way that is not shiok...hahaha... dunno la... aiyo... y my army medical check up kana defer again sia... idiot la... waste my time... wan to know which pacs i can go into sia... hopefully is A...haha.. den can garang garang...hahaha.. cannot imagine if i go into C or D... sloappy sia... come out become fat ass i sure die sia...hahhaha.. think too much liao la... must be too hyper that y i cannot get to sleep.... diaoz diaoz... health been going down liao sia... eat things eat liao sure feel funny in the tummy one...hahah. dunno wat is going on wif me sia... yawn ~ ~ finally i yawn liao...hahaha.. but den too late liao going out soon....

Aiytooooooo so sianz leh ~ ~ ~HElp ARH ~ ~hahahahahahahah ok ok stop liao... yawn again ` ~ ~

yawn ~ ~

2005-10-31T15:01:00.000+08:00

So tired sia... so long never update blog liao sia...haha.. also dunno wat to write le la... so many things... summary la... sianz and bored... finish...

haha.. kidding la.. aiyo hm... one more week be4 sch start.. not bad not bad.. at least there is sth to do liao lo.. last sem liao.. dunno whether i will piang a not leh..haha... sch.. see first la hor... haiz... year end coming liao... aiyoo... think my resolution of the year cannot make it sia.. wan to buy a bike.. but den $$$ wise not able to liao la... sianz... haiz... have to set it further liao... so boring... haiz... nvm la.. just have to make do wif it liao lo... going abck to the broke end liao sia... totally... tsk tsk tsk... shame of myself sia... anyhow spend..hahaha.. but heck la... nvm lo.. over liao.. just make do of the situation right now lo.. hm... army life coming soon also... wonder where will i go sia... better let it be some good things.. dun really wan to slack in there sia.. if not no point... slack 2 years there and waste time... hahaha... dunno la... aiya... stop first... go and eat some snack... super hungry... aiyoo... think my knee cap going to go off sooner or later liao.. must take care of myself sia... tsk tsk tsk... jialak liao la...hahaha.. nvm... ai zai..hahaha... go and makan supper liao

Genting ~ ~~

2005-10-17T17:59:00.000+08:00

WooWooWoooo.. back from genting liao...haha... family outing sia...haha... really relaxing sia.... though nth much was done except lots of eating la...hahaha... went wif my small cousins and my aunts...hahah... totally no control sia... really can do watever i want there... but den also not much things can be done sia...hahaha... walk and eat, eat and play... play liao den eat again... hahahahaha can say really is doing everything that a free person can do liao lo... hahaha... coming thursday going wif my basketball coach and my friends sia... GENTING AGAIN... hm... wonder wat else can i do there sia... hahahaha and did i mention that there was a guy introducing gals for some fun at nite...hahahahahah totally freaked out sia...hahha

STRESSSSSSSS

2005-10-06T13:47:00.000+08:00

i just wan to play... friends... find me out and play..... coach train me till i cannot tahan... i just wan to DESTRESSSSSSSSSSSS..... basketball is a good way.... spending $$ is a good way.... ARH ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~

WON ~ ~ hahaha....

2005-10-05T00:30:00.000+08:00

Gee... had a important basketball match yesterday and my team Won...haha... won by 3 points.... a very close game... gee... super gan chiong sia.... did not perform too good... too tensed up for this game liao...haha.. but den nvm... i m so damn sure i m going to play very well next match...haha... i will.. YEAH ~ ~ ~

WoooWOoooo... ~ ~

2005-10-03T02:58:00.000+08:00

wat the F ???hahah... F is name FREAKY + FRANCIS + FUCKING = FREAKYFRANCIS FUCKING ~ ~~ AHaha... i going nUTs....hahaha... blast my music to the top of the volume.... hahaha... drive my uncle car go chiong...hahaha.ha.h.a. .shiok la..... come come come... shag me baby...haha.ha..ha.ha..... i wanna play... come come play wif me.... DAYS are never better...haha.h.... HECk... lets see wat i can play wif... You .. you.... aiya,.... you la....hahah.a... basketball is Great... my game... my weakest game and yet the greatest passion for it... hahaha... life aint great wif my montion running up and high... lets DO it...haha.... COME COME COME ON.... shake that bitch....hahahaha.... WHOOWoWOOWoOWoooooo... BE BE BOYS AND GALS>>>>>>>> dance dance wif me... COcain... wooo WOoowoo... lets try it... U NUTS ???? hahahaha WhoWoooo... the greatest feeling of doing sth is not knowing that you are doing it.... FUCKING GREAT<>>>>>>> haha... i did not know... but heck.. i enjoy it...haha... thanks .....hahahaha.. FAKE ID ?? nah... i over it,...hahah... come coem... just spend few hundred dollar in 5 min...hahaha... WoOWoWoooo.. y?? u KPO la... my money leh...hahha.... come come come... MOnday basketball... WOOWoWoOwoooo.. MATCH again.... gee..... will win a not har ???Haha aIya.... HECK LA>>>>>.. dun wan to affect my mood anyway...haha... friends... GEEE>>EE>> aint that tag good ??? hahahahahah hm..... lets go BIKING TONITE>>>. hm.... lets see..... RVF, SUPER 4 ??? gee... wat the hell... all try be4 liao la... lets do the CBR....haha.. or better.... BMW>..haha.ha.h.a. wat are u toking man ??? lets fuck it ??? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..... i wanna drink wif happines... come come come... MY TREAT ~ ~ ~ woWoOWOWoooooOWOWooo,.... try so hard ??? nah .. not good enough la... y leh ??? cos i dun wan mah.... me??? no la... kidding.... i wan to FLY ~ ~ woOWOWoWOoo.. wings are growing out soon... WoOWoWoOWOwoooo.. Yosz...z.z.z..... Ah bing har...haha... KPKB la.... haha... call again.... lets do it... speed speed speed..... wOWoOWOWoOooo.. wat the hell ??? dangerous turing aint the coolest things.... crashing is moment of joy..... .ha.h.a.h... lets GOO GOOG OOGO OOO GOOOOGOO GOOOO>... dun contact me anyone...haha..a.. but i think contact me la... den i can freaking spend $$ till i shiok... lets see... i wan to spend $$$$$$$ hahahah... but now no $$ liao.. just spend it off just now... Aiya.... no prob la.... ai zia.... hahahaha jump jump jump... i wan to stand...hahahah BYE BYE FUCKING WORLD>>> I LOVE MYSELF>>..ha.ha.ha.h....... fun aint over till u drop ~ ~ ~~

trying hard.... YEAH ~ ~

2005-09-28T14:35:00.000+08:00

Pushing myself to more challeague...hahaha basketball and other stuff... quite happy wif the life right now... haha.. shiok... basketball,gf, friends and other stuff... mroe relax in a way or two... though i need to improve more on my basketball skill for the competition to ease my team mate load... i can do it... no problem... survive one more match and we have made it... hahaa... i know we can do it.... i will push myself to the limit regardless of wat... i know i will... my shots will not be empty promises... i will make sure..

been a long time

2005-09-26T14:41:00.000+08:00

dunno how long never blog liao...hahah.. since nth much to do during my attachment now.. den i come and update lo..hahaha.. hm... where to start... ok ok ok.. few days ago just had another match dunno against who.. and we won... hahaha shiok.. win 9 points.... though not much but den think we can do much better sia.. cos we play till very average onli... hahahah...

sat actually have to work but den.. due to some things den did not work...hahaha.. pei gf whole day sia... went to sentosa and tanned till shiok... hahaha... den nite time went to celebrate one of her ten 'sister' birthday.. after tat went to play pool sia... 100% victory...hahaa zai leh... hm... my lovely dear stress up sia... work and work and work... meeting and camp all cramping up on her... but den ai zai... she can do it one.. hehehe.. me supporting her leh...
gee... one more week to end my attachment.. or should i say 4 1/2 days left... and it is freedom from a boring world of metals...hahah... but den weekend still have to work la.. but at least that i dun mind... weekdays can still go and train my basketball and go do my own stuff.. gee... waited for 6 months to have a good break liao sia... hahahahahahahahaha..... 1 more month be4 i can go for my 2A bike lesson... quickly come sia... my lovely bike in my hand liao sia.. wooOWoOWoooo... at nite can chiong till i song liao sia... buay tahan... cannot wait sia... now work harder for it first... den can bring gf out wif my bike..hehehe... though have car licence... but dun really like to drive... not much fun... bike more exciting for me... hahahaha... go places also fang pian... but when it rain.. den siao 1/2 lo...hahaha. nvm la.. think so far for wat... get liao den i get more happy la...hahaha.... SHIOK... 3-10-05 another match coming up... win this match and we are almost through to another round... shiok sia... reputation sure go up sia...haha..

a point will always be a point....

2005-08-24T15:48:00.000+08:00

lose means lose... one point lost is the same as losing 20 points... but difference is whether did the team fought hard enough to prevent it from happening.... wat happened today was wat i conclued... NO.... haiz....

56-57..... last possession was ours... and he just threw it like a bomb... and throughout the match... he shoot like every ball is for free.... DAMN.... ARH>>>>>... damn disappointed with this team mate sia... ARHHHHH>..... wanted so much to win it... and burst....

so wat if i wanted to win so badly... without the team.. i m a lone fighter....
mistake made again... forever....

just felt tired and sianz ~ ~

2005-08-22T15:43:00.000+08:00

let me walk in the lonely street with the vocal of mine riding in the air of silent nite....

i just feel so sore around my body... feel so tired...

Make the surrounding change... i hate to say this... cos i wan to change for the surrounding...

so lets just feel the quiet side on a person in direct motion....

good nite...